My Blog

Getting a call from stranger's

Today, as I was just getting back from buying Macdonald double cheese burger, I'm getting a call from some stranger. Good thing is she introduce herself nicely but suddenly when she started to talk about the thing she wanted to say, she sounded angrier and angrier. I was shocked when she told me that she knows about the thing I wrote yesterday (I initially thought that she was my big blog fan but when she sound mad, I rethink, yeahhh its not possible).

She told me that the thing is not true and she wanted me to delete the post. Among other things like dont be such a loser and dont write all the craps. Actually I want to reply, I wanted to talk about something but I need sometimes to think. And I guess it was lucky for her cause she's the one started the conversation so I was still kind of shock. And whats more surprising she said I sounded like I was angry when the fact she's already using her high pitch voice against me.

This thing that happen has made me wonder. Why does she go all the way to call me and ask me to delete the post? Well, its obvious because she is the one to tell my friend about the thing. Perhaps, she was saying like, "jangan bitau sape2 tau, secret" Well, kalo selalu tgk citer 70's show, this is the part where they say, "burn!!!!!!!" I guess her intention was good. She just wanted to get back in good term with her friend (the girl I wrote about yesterday).

Anyway if she's reading my blog again today, I just wanted to tell that the damage has been done. I cannot undone it. If there is some mistake in the writing I apologize because maybe I over exaggerated. But I did not miss the point I wanted to say. My point from the whole story is that, A girl is just as good as anybody can get her unless you're at least engage with her, then only she's yours. So even if you're already with someone and not yet engage you should be careful and he should also be careful.

And again you must be questioning why did I write the story just now and not before this? Well, only when we have the experience  and good example and its become better if its the real thing, a writer can come out with the piece. I've always wanted to write about this thing and the idea comes about the right time and well, now I have the story. I'm not moaning cause I fail in the relationship but whats important is what I've learnt from it and I guess its not wrong to share it with other people be it her, the stranger, my friend, his girlfriend or anybody else who is reading my blog.

If you think that your view's are not the same as mine, then by all means, by all means, please write it in your blog too. Maybe I can learn somethings from different views.

Akhir kata, thanks for reading my blog.

p/s: Rasa cam dah tak lalu nak makan. Rasa cam budak2 pulak sebab kena marah. Dah lama dah tak kena marah dengan perempuan nie. Last rasanye pun 3 tahun lepas.

Treasure Friend's More Than Woman

I still remember one of the stephen chow movie I watch several years ago, if I'm not mistaken its title is 'God of Gambler's 3'. In the movie, one of the character said 'I treasure friend's more than woman' while expressing that he is ready to let his woman go as long as stephen chow can help him to restore the country's peace. I used to laugh back then and always saying it as some jokes as I dont believe that its the real thing.

Anyway, here's the real thing I wanna tell. Just a few days ago, I know what really happen to me 3 years ago. If you read my blog in the earlier stage about "whats with woman" the third chapter, you'll know what happens. To cut it short, back then I really thought that she was mad at me because I paste her dialogue in the mirc but actually she's mad at me because of other deeper but silly thing. What surprise me is that she thought that I plan it all so that my friend whom she have a chat and whom turn out to be the one that she like too, can never be together. In other words, its just like she thought that I told my friends, 'she is mine and dont touch her'.

When I know thats what actually happen, I kind of laugh and a bit disapointed because after what I told her, talked to her, she couldnt guess what kind of person I am. For me, I may have treated the girl nicely because I like her but whether she likes me back or not I totally leave it to her. There's really no point keeping a girl that doesnt like you. Maybe thats what makes my relationship fail cause I dont really introduce enough pushing/pushing factor but well, everybody has their own principle. So until at least the girl is engage with me, I dare not say that she is mine.  If she really likes my friend, I would willingly give way and the disappointment will always be there but I dare not see many more disapointment in the future, if I kept the relationship.

Truth be told, now I know what is the hikmah of me having to experience the things. Hence, we always have to believe that Allah has his own way of getting the best for us. Patient is certainly needed and when we know the real thing, we would gladly say "Alhamdulillah".

And to conclude it all, I guess its not really treasure friend's more than woman but its more about playing fair in the process. That's all.    

Letting Go......

Recently I was watching a chinese series title The Chinese Paladin. At first I thought it is a kung fu movie but in the end it is filled with all the love and romance things. Even in the end the evil force is actually being defeated by the strong power of a couple's love. I was a bit dissapointed cause I was hoping that something like a fist and kick kind of scene. The ending is also kind of unfinished showing the hero is trapped in his own love world since his couple is already dead. How pathethic, I thought it is? Though some may say that the guy is true to his love but what the heck? The girl is already dead, he's nowhere near hearing her breath again, why bother to be miserable for the cause? Anyway it did mention in the middle of the story that love can means letting go. I guess the guy fails to let go.

There are many things in this world that people refuse to let go. Money, power and woman, I believe belongs to those group. I guess we have to accept or instill in ourselves that everything in this world is not immortal except Allah S.W.T. If we are given the chance to experience it, we have to know that it is just our responsibility to take care of the chances given. It is hard to have such an ideal thinking but I guess that is how it is supposed to be thought of. Otherwise thats why we can see a lot of people killing each other for money and power. Love among human if not carefully taken care of, in a way can make people insane and lose rational.

Recently I was talking with my friend about how to get a girlfriend. The bottom line of our discussion is all about high risk and high return way kind of thing. Just like when you want to do business, when the uncertainty is high the possibility of getting higher profit is always there. If you want to go for hot chick, the chances are very minimal but once you get it, then what my friend used to say to the guy walking with a hot chick, "one lucky bastard". hahhaahha. But if you dont get one, you'll feel the humiliation and definitely you'll start living in a world of chaos. Though I guess it only valid for people that refuse to let go.

To let go, I guess, is definitely something that we need to be able to do or otherwise the thing that we look for will eat ourselves in and out. If something just happen to slip out from our hand, just remember that something better might await for us in the future. Who knows right? Rather than giving our hope for things that has left us, might as well we hope for something that is not yet in our hand but we actually have a chance of getting it, isn't it?

Agen Pengubah

Today I attended a talk on Volunteerism. It was delivered by some GE director (electric company worldwide), mr. Roshan, if I'm not mistaken his name is. I guess from all the taks I've ettended it was one of the session that I gave my attention. I dont really know hy I paid attention on whether cause it hits the spot, or I was impressed by the way the presentation was delivered. Most likely it has to be a blend between that.  I do note some important point in the talk, in which one of it is  Q x  A = E. He doesn't really tell me what is the meaning of each word, but what I know is Q is the system, planning or something we put in place as a control measure, A is the acceptance of people who are using it and E is the success rate.
I have to agree with him that most people only stress on the first point which is the technical know how, but we alnost totally forgotten the second important point which is as important as the first point. Since it is a multiplication, eventhough you've reach perfection in the technical know how, but u get 0 in the acceptance or only the higher ups did agree on the point, it is most likely the system will soon fail to sustain its existance. Its all logic. If u build a system that people at large doesnt want to accept it, why bother thinking about it will success. It can be implemented but the success of it is certainly minimal. How do you measure people acceptance?? that is what we should be questioning ourselves.
Today, I believe we are no longer in a system whereby boss have all the power in his hands. Its up to them how to create the company the way they want it to be. People nowadays have realized their importance in the company. When given under circumstances whereby they have to obey something that they dont like, they can always back off. Resign from the company. Who is at loss now?? The employee?? The company?? Well the company can always hire a new employee but the cost to hire new employee which have zero experience on how to go about in the business is damn expensive. If they hire experience people, the pay would be high and still these experience people has to go through some step before they could be familiar with their role in the company. In the end the company end up losing money and also an experience worker.
The employees are the asset to the company. Without the employee, the company will not sustain. It is the people in the company that does all the job not the company using its name can do the job. Thus, in order to sustain this asset, we need to develop these employees not only things with regard to their job but also to develop the attitude of the employees. They have to be trained in such a way that they feel that they belong to the company.
Why volunteerism?
There are my friends who questioned the reason why I joined all the volunteerism work. For me its just as simple as I want to contribute. There are many people who are in need of our help, that can be help if we are willing to do it. If we cannot contribute monetary value, spend your time and energy to help those in need. There are reasons why Allah gave us wealth, healthy body or good brain. Its not solely for ours to be used. In everyting that we have there are potions in which it belongs to others. We have to utilised this sort of gift the best we can. Otherwise we are going to be questioned later, what has we done with all the gifts given to us. Well, thats my answer, but I know that its not limited to that.
What does it has anything to do with the company growth?? just like I mention before employees are the assets of the company in which the success of the employess will determine the success of the company. For instance let us think for one second. Its not like every employee in the company would have the chance to become a leader in a project. The company cannot afford to do that. But volunteerism will enable those who did not have the chance to do the leader job inside the company, to do the leader job for this volunteerism job. It can be as simple as arranging a visit to orphanage. Looks small but the job which comprises, organizing who will come, what activity, who will be involved, logistics, venue, gifts, souvenir and etc. is a complete package that teaches the employees the skills to lead events. This can happen if and only volunteerism is encourage in the company.
And surely this is what happen in the GE company and luckily I really hope that PETRONAS in its own way are moving to achieve that. I always hope that this mission of energy receive, energy return can be fulfilled in the direct way. Not in term of money but the time and energy spent by PETRONAS staff. But certainly money is needed to achieve that but lets not make it a reason of why we cannot contribute.
Anyway Allah has long said this in the Al-Quran in surah Al-Ra'd ayat 11. 13:11, "Sesungguhnya Allah tidak merubah nasib sesuatu kaum muslimin sehingga mereka merubah keadaan yang ada pada diri mereka sendiri.'
It is obviously stated there that we need to be willingly to change ourselves before we could hope Allah will do it for us. We need to change ourselves to a be a better person. We need to volunteer ourselves and lets not hope others will do it for us cause if they are doing it for us, where are we in the picture. We will always be in the old position, while other people are already a step ahead for us.

"There are reasons why we can sustain our company for more than 140 years and still able to sustain and diverse it business in many areas. That is because we are looking at business ahead of our time and do something to capture the market"
Quoted from Mr. Roshan.

"sekiranya kamu ingin lihat masa depan, lihatlah pemuda masa kini"
Quoted from Profesor Hamka(if I'm Not mistaken).

So, let us take our time and think about this. Thats all.

Pemerhatian

Dah lama agaknya aku tak menulis blog nie.
Banyak faktornya, antaranya sebab dah keje, takde ineternet connection, malas
dan macam2 lagi. Ada gak nak try tulis, tapi baru sepatah dua, idea dah kering, terus stop. Malas gila lah sejak dah keje nie. huhuhu.
Aku baru jek tukar section tempat keje, barulah ade keje skrg nie.
Baru lah tau nak rajin2 bila kerje nie.
kalo tak lepak2 jek makan gaji buta.
Tahlah tak tau kenapa bila aku masuk keje nie, mentaliti aku dah berubah kot.
Tapi I guess there still left some strong principal in my way of perceiving thing.
Anyway macam yang aku pernah cakap dulu, anybody has the right to give opinion,
but we cannot push others to accept our opinion. At the least we must be
courage enough to voice out our opinion, otherwise nothing gonna happen.
It start from the heart, goes to the mouth and translated into the action.
Kadang-kadang aku rasa pelik tgk camne org dengan mudah boleh express
what he feels about others publicly (in a disgraceful manner but not in the direct way) face to face, selamba jek. As a rational person, I wont be giving back what I had gone through but I'll try as much as possible to be positive about it. I'll still answer in a way that it wont hurt others.  Bende nie jadi lagi teruk kalo kita ade dalam satu team. and aku bukan nak jadi sexist tapi sepanjang aku join projek, wat projek, and macam2 lagi, aku mmg nampak perempuan banyak beremosi dalam melakukan pekerjaan diorang. Aku tak kata sume, at the least perempuan2 yang pernah satu team ngan aku, banyak yang camtue. And aku rasa yang paling problem ialah bila orang yang camnie, diberi kuasa untuk menetapkan keputusan.  Banyak keputusan adalah berdasarkan pada pertimbangan emosi diorang and bila ditanya rasional nye, tahlah tak nampak kepentingan keputusan tu di buat. And then banyak bende yang tak teratur. tak organize sampai delegation of work to tak smooth. Ade org kene wat kerje yang lebih. payah lah camtue.
Lagi satu aku nie jenis yang suka provoke org yang kadang2 sampai aku pun diprovoke sama oleh orang. Memang aku selalu cakap kasar. Tapi takde niat jahat pun. Aku saja jek nak tgk reaksi org camne. I dont really like the idea of being the center of attention but if that is one of the way of how I could know many other people in this world why should I give in. Kadang2 org yang kita sangka kita dah kenal pun sebenarnya there's a lot of other thing yang kita tak tahu psl die. Selalu bende2 camni org cakap suka mencapap la. Aku pedulik hape, as long as aku pikir bende yang aku cakap and buat adalah something yang meaningful. Ade setengah org suka mencapap sampai cakap bende yang tah hape2 asalkan org boleh kenal die tapi aku bukan jenis camtue. I'll talk when it is needed. Thats all.

The meaning of our existence

I dont quite remember when I was reading this verse of Holy Quran but I still remember what is the thing that come across my mind while I was trying to understand it. I dont dare to say that what I will explain later is the true meaning of the verse but I believe that what I want to tell about will at least have something that we all can think about. Many muslims nowadays always like to refer what philosophist said about how to motivate ourselves thus we take for granted the most holy book that we should refer if we want to motivate ourselves, Al-quran. Its not that I want to say what the philosophist wrote is not true but the question here is why we dont want to make Al-quran as our first reference book. Its just obvious that what human said has many possibilities of being wrong but what Allah s.w.t said is definitely correct.

I wont deny that some people are afraid to read and try understand the Al-Quran because they lack of the knowledge, but until when does this thing will go on and on. Today, there are so many translation of the Al-quran has been made and our duty is just to read and try understand it. If we find it hard to understand there are many ustaz we could refer to. There are lots of verse in the Al-quran that we can easily understood but its just a matter we want to try it or not. Al-quran is made so that people can understand it. This thing has been remind by Allah again and again in the Al-quran but do we even care for that. In surah Al-Qamar, 54:17,22,32,40, Allah s.w.t said,

“Dan sesungguhnya telah kami mudahkan Al-quran untuk pelajaran, maka adakah orang yang mengambil pelajaran”.

This goes again in surah Al-muddatstsir 74:55, Allah s.w.t said,

“Maka barangsiapa menghendaki, nescaya dia mengambil pelajaran daripadanya (Al-quran).”

There are lots of other verse that said about the importance of Al-quran but I guess if I want to list it out, surely it will steal a lot of time and thus what I want to deliver here will not reach to you. Its better if I just jump to the verse that I want to quote here from Surah Al-Muzzammil, 73:20. Allah s.w.t said

“Sesungguhnya Tuhanmu mengetahui bahwasanya kamu berdiri (sembahyang) kurang dari dua pertiga malam, atau seperdua malam atau sepertiganya dan (demikian pula) segolongan dari orang2 yang bersama kamu. Dan Allah menetapkan ukuran malam dan siang. Allah mengetahui bahwa kamu sekali-kali tidak dapat menentukan batas-batas waktu-waktu itu, maka Dia memberikan keringanan kepadamu, karena itu bacalah apa yang mudah (bagimu) dari Al-quran. Dia mengetahui bahwa akan ada di antara kamu orang-orang yang sakit dan orang2 yang berjalan di muka bumi mencari sebahagian karunia Allah; dan sebahagian yang lain lagi berperang di jalan Allah, maka bacalah apa yang mudah (bagimu) dari Al-quran dan dirikanlah sembahyang, tunaikanlah zakat dan berikanlah pinjaman yang baik. Dan kebaikan apa saja yang kamu perbuat untuk dirimu niscaya kamu memperoleh (balasan)nya di sisi Allah sebagai balasan yang paling baik dan yang paling besar pahalanya. Dan mohonlah ampunan kepada Allah;sesungguhnya Allah maha pengampun lagi maha penyayang.”

To be frank, when I was reading the verse, it was my first time reading it and suddenly this thought came into my mind. Why do we exist in this world? Why does some people can be rich and why some people is so poor? Why does some people can be so genius but some people have difficulties in understanding things? Why some people are so strong and why some people are so weak? Have we ever thought about the true reason for our existence in this world? The general reason yeah of course I believe every muslims know but what is our specific reason of why Allah create us in this world. Some people believe that if we work hard we can get anything we want but to me I believe that every people in this world has their own specific reason of why we exist in this world. The people that work hard, I believe that it is in their nature that they want to work hard but even so we can still see there are lots of people try hard but they fail. Some people like to blame it on fate but can we actually blame it on the fate? If we blame it on the fate it is just the same as we say that it is Allah’s mistake things like that happen, Nauzubillah, I pray that we are far from being that group of people.

And there goes the concept of “Redha” means to say that we accept that what Allah has destined for us. Does it mean that we dont have to work hard and just accept the fate? No, it is far from that. Allah has ask us to work hard to achieve what we want to be but we must accept whatever has destined for us. If we fail in something that we do, its probably because we have done some mistake in the process, and its up to us to repair the mistake and become succesful. Work hard is a must but whatever happens then, we have to accept it. Along the process we probably caught something that actually is the true reason of why we do exist in this world. We have to discover this on our own and nobody could tell us this thing except ourselves. So in everything that you do now, try to think about this and who knows you might discover your true reason of your existence in this world. Everybody is special and thus everybody has their specific reason of existing. And when you find it, work hard for it and be a successfull person. May Allah bless us. Thats all.    

p/s: Try to read and understand the verse. You’ll find it useful. From the very beginning of our existence Allah already created us for some reason. And whats obvious is everybody has their own special characteristic. Dont you find this amazing?       

In searh for True Love -(4-last chapter)- "The Answer"

Anyway, I have always realized from long time ago that my true love, is not something that I can give to human. In my opinion if true love were to exist, I don’t think that it should be given to human. Allah S.W.T says in Surah Ali Imran ayat 14, 3:14

“Dijadikan indah pada (pandangan) manusia kecintaan kepada apa-apa yang diingini, iaitu: wanita-wanita, anak-anak, harta yang banyak dari jenis emas, perak, kuda pilihan, binatang-binatang ternak dan sawah lading. Itulah kesenangan hidup di dunia: dan di sisi Allah lah tempat kembali yang baik (syurga).

From what Allah says in the Holy Quran, there are several things that being highlighted here. First, it is known to us that Allah has created human to see the thing that they desired as something so beautiful or attractive that makes them love it. That is probably why there is proverb saying that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Different people desire different things.

As guidelines, the first thing being reminded is of course the attraction of woman. It is known from the early history of mankind, that woman is known to have a great impact to man. Although it is being fated that by Allah that Adam has eaten the restricted fruit, everyone knows that eve is the one that persuade Adam to eat those fruits. Woman can bring good things to man but also can bring great destruction.

To some people they really loved their children that they are willing to fulfill everything that their child wishes that in the end it will destroy their children. There are also some people interested in gathering all the wealth in this world. If they have 1 million, they want to have 100 million, if they have 100 million, they want to have 1 billion. For them money is everything. They love their money more than everything else.

What is love actually? Usually when we talk about love people always refers it to a relation between man and woman. Love defined by

Oxford

is an intense feeling of deep affection which means that love can be defined as something that someone really likes. Then it is not a mistake to say that people who really like music, love music or people who really like money, love money.

If love were to be ranked according to someone liking, it should have been like below;

1)      Allah S.W.T

2)      Nabi Muhammad S.A.W

3)      Parents/Husband/Wife

4)      Others

This is why I strongly believed that if true love were to exist, Allah is the only one who deserved to have our true love. Kadang2 rasa pelik bila tgk ade org kat dlm tv ckp “ sampai hati ko menduakan aku”. Macam mana die leh cakap camtue. Setiap org harus ade rasa cinta pada Allah so camne die leh cakap tak menduakan. Dan yang sebenarnya cinta kita pada Allah yang tak boleh diduakan. Our love to Allah should be the greatest and we should not take others as the same. Sometimes I wonder how people can feel so down hearted that they want to kill themselves just because they broke up with their girlfriend. I wont deny that the feeling of frustration will always remain but its shouldn’t be that bad. This kind of thing would not have happen if they know who they should give their greatest love to. Just imagine how would your girlfriend do to you if you did not listen to them? Maybe both of you will fight over it and end up broke up. Now just imagine how many time have we did not listen to Allah’s order? Imagine how life would it be if Allah’s ignore you. Everything that we have now is what Allah has given to us. Your ear, eyes, legs, life, hands and everything. But Alhamdulillah, with His Rahmat and Rahim, He stills let us go on with our life as usual. However, how many of us realized this thing? How many of us really show our appreciation?

I’m not saying all these things because I am better than you all but just want to share what I have within me. We are orders by Him to keep reminding among us, giving advices. So here I am, giving what I thought would be beneficial for us. We are given such a wonderful brain and Allah has ask us to think. So think about this. That’s all.

In search for true love (3) - "Campus Life"

After completing my studies in SAS, I was offered a place in UTP. Well, at first I was a little bit disappointed since I was hoping that I could further my studies in overseas, but I guess it’s the better choice for me. Anyway it was an excellent decision that I’ve made looking at the achievement I acquired during my studies in UTP. Only Allah knows what would have happen to me if I was to further my studies in overseas. Hehhehehhe…

Campus life is always an exciting moment for everyone who have the chance to get in. It is the moment that you’ll remember for your whole life. So to anybody who will and is experiencing their campus life, just make sure that you make it an interesting memory for you to bring along for the rest of your life. Once you’ve got to work, you will have more responsibility, lesser leisure time and you’ll start to feel more energy drain out from you.

As early as first year, I’ve opened up my first chapter of love. However it did not turn out very good. Most probably caused there are too many differences between us. And I guess the way I approach her is also not acceptable kot. There is also this one girl who shows her interest in me, but I guess I’m not interested with her, so I just rejected her. The way she approaches, scares me. I’m not saying that I don’t like the idea of having a girl making the first move but there are better ways of how a girl should tell their feeling to a man they like. It doesn’t have to be so straight forward and it shouldn’t be so secret. Some might say that you should try to see whether she suits you or not first but in reality at first glance we will know that whether the girl or the boy has the possibility of becoming our couple. And I guess I don’t like the idea of giving hope that you are not sure you can fulfill it or not. Unless I’m certain with my decision, I’m not going to go on with the relationship.

Second, third and fourth year, I was really busy occupying myself with my cocuriculum activities that I forgot about having relationship with girl. And I guess it was the moment that I enjoyed very much. Learning about how to run a programme from the beginning until the execution, managing a committee, managing an organization, communicating with people and lots and lots of other skills that I would never imagine I could have acquired if I only sit in my room, playing with the computer. I don’t really like politics but I’m certain that it is a must in our life. Politics can bring harmonies if people use it correctly but unfortunately nowadays it is likely to be use for destruction. I would never have thought that even in politics as small as campus election, people would try to do dirty job just to make sure they’ll get the position they wanted. What’s making thing worse if people who did this dirty thing are hiding themselves within a very good organization they involved. If things like this happen not only they will bring shame to themselves but they will also bring bad reputation to the organization they lead. In short, “Matlamat tidak pernah menghalalkan cara”.

When I was doing my practical, once again I tried to approach this one girl that I’ve been looking at for sometime. So, I beranikan diri phoned her, ask her out and always keep in touch. I’m not a direct person so I don’t really have the courage to declare my feelings toward her. So I just keep in silent and tried to show that I cared for her with all those things we’ve done together. Unfortunately, again things did not turn out as I expected it would be. Just when I want to confess, some bad things happen and we just get on with life like nothing has happen before. I feel really frustrated looking at the time I’ve spent and those things that I’ve done but I guess that is what it takes in this kind of relationship. There is no guarantee that you can be a successful person. If it is a success, then it is good for you but if you fail just takes it as something that will make you more mature in handling this type of relationship.

So I go on with my life and just before I completed my studies, the feelings come again. I don’t really know when or where this new relation that I’ve built will go but what I’m sure is I really like her. We don’t know what will happen in the future but I believe that what we do now will determine what will happen to us in the future. I hope that things would work out between me and her. May Allah bless us.

Anyway, I have always realized from long time ago that true love is …… To be continued in the last chapter of “In Search for True Love” – (4) – “the answer”

 

In search of true definition of love -2-(all boy school)

I guess nobody read my blog but surprisingly some also give comments. thanx to that. It just means that you are concern about me, I guess so. Well... where did I stop. After primary school and going to some boarding school.

Why do I say that it was a disapointment when I got admitted to all boys school? I'm not saying that there's nothing good about all boy school,but in my opinion who has undergone my whole 5 years of secondary school in one of the most famous all boy boarding school (SAS), I just have to say that it has brought me a lot of pain memories that I just wanna forget.

First, of course, just as I mention before, We will miss the period where girls undergoes rapid transformation. Be it physically and more important mentally. This is the time when a girl has difficulty in adapting to the situation but yet an interesting experience. I believe that at this point of time we should just let a boy and a girl have a normal relation between them. Some might say that it would be better to seperate them but I totally disagree with that. Teenage is the time when a kid will have their transition time into becoming a man or woman. This is when they will develop their mind and perceive thing as they see it happen in their surrounding. This developing mind will later turn them into being a good woman or good man. If we were to restrict the relation between them, when they sometimes in the future are exposed into this kind of relationship,  it might not turn very good. I must say that this thing might not be true to everybody who enter all boy school or all girl school, but I guess we would have better result if we were to have mix school. We can still produce excellent student like we have in all boy or girls school with the programme we develop and plus they will have the necessary knowledge they need to know in order for them to practise it in real life.

Whats making thing worse is the abnormal relation that one might have in the all boy or girl school. Some might say that things like this is not happening but only people who have been there knows. Sometimes it can leave a real pain memory and when you try to remove it from your mind you just cant. Again I'm not saying that everybody will turn into being gay or lesbian but the possibilities are there. Instead of doing something that has a bad possibilities why dont we just leave that and do things normally. No need to seperate the girls and the boys. just let them have the normal relation like they always have. Just normal relation, that's all.... 

p/s: I dont think that everybody will agree with me but well its just my opinion, right. And about love is not that I'm not aware of things call soulmate or jodoh or anything like that but what I'm trying to bring here is the definition of love from what I've perceive from my experience. If you say love is only about jodoh or soulmate then I am totally disagree with you. We have so many type's of love in this world and loving a woman you called soulmate is just a portion of what love can mean. And I guess loving a soulmate is far from what I called as a true love. Well, just wait till the end of the chapter. thats all.....

What's with women-In Search for True Love(1)

Women....
I don't really know where to start but I'm pretty damn sure what I want to talk about. Well, we've been involved with women since we were given birth to this world. Moms, of course.. I certainly love my mom very much but for others I don't know but I hope they do. Love from mom is definitely something different from other types of love. My grandma used to say to me that love from mom is purely love. Actually I have longed realized about this thing. Through my own experience... My bro used to do a lot of bad things to my mom, but its surprising to see but yet to be expected is the way my mom reacted to all those things my bro has done. She never given up hope for my bro and alhamdulillah finally my bro understood that. After what I've gone through my life for the past 22 years, I am definitely sure that I would never find such love like that. It is so holy that I would never ever think that I could ever find one like that anymore.

As long I could remember, I only know the word love when I was in standard 6. But it pretty fucked up definition then, I think. I was so young and my mind was not really matured to come out with the true definition of love. Anyway I guess its the same thing for her. At that time, she is probably one of the "hot stuffz" in my school maybe because she is cute. At that time I was thinking that if I ever get to walk with her, I will feel very proud of myself. For her I think, I'm also not a bad person to walk with when she knew I am the prefect vice president. See, what a fucked up definition of love.

Anyway, the story ends just like that. We used to hang out together but I never did say or declare anything to her. After completing the primary school, I was offered to one of the best boarding school in Malaysia. And what a disappointment when I only know then that the school I was admitted to is a boy school. I dont think there's anything to tell about those 5 years I'm in the boy's school. As far as I can remember I only get to have my social life with girls when I am out from the school or when there is any occasion in my school. What I can summarize is that I never get to know girls pretty much at the point of time, they are growing. I believe that the secondary school level is the time where we can see a lot of change in a girls life. And somehow I feel disappinted I miss that chances. Anyway, times goes by where
everything cannot be turn back. I go on with my life in search for the true definition of love.

to be continued.....